Tips Guides Resources

It was just a typical weekend with the family at home but an extra special weekend for my 8 year-old son who was having his cousin stay with us for a sleepover. His cousin is only 5 years old and adores his older cousin to death. It was all squeals of laughter as they greeted each other at the door.

I went about as usual to get them settled and fed and organize their games of play. They played outside for hours and later settled to watch a movie before bed. They were nestled on top of my bed watching T.V. and I couldn’t help but take a photo of them - they looked so cute and innocent!

I got in some heavy-duty cuddle time with both of them by squeezing myself between them during the movie. It was heaven! As the movie wore on - they were watching ‘Cars’, little 5-year old Nicholas fell asleep next to me. It really had been a very busy day. That left my little guy and me alone and that was ok by me.

Before long I could tell that my son had something on his mind. It’s just the way he fidgeted ever so slightly and almost hesitating to ask me something. I asked him if anything was wrong and he of course said no. I decided to wait and have him approach me. He eventually did and asked me a simple question.

“Mom, why does Dad lie to me”? I certainly never expected that one so I wanted to be clear about what he meant by it. (You see, I couldn’t be too sure of what he was referring to as his father and I have been divorced ever since my son was 1 1/2 years old, so I had to ask what he meant). He said that he was hurt that his Dad didn’t tell him the truth about dating someone and how he had found out from a friend instead. A few weeks before, I had heard about the incident from his father as he explained to me that a boy at a party told our son that the woman who was with them that night was not just a friend but also his father’s ‘girlfriend’. My son vehemently denied it and said that it could not be so, as his father would have told him himself.

I told him that I had heard about what had happened but felt that his father most probably did not tell him in order to protect him; that his Dad didn’t want to worry or upset him about dating someone that perhaps he wasn’t sure about and maybe would never see again. “He didn’t mean to leave you out honey, he was only trying to protect you.”

He seemed to understand the explanation, simply nodded his head and began watching the movie again. I was relieved he took it so well. A few minutes passed and then he turned to me with a very wise look on his face and said “Mom, the truth would have protected me more.”

Needless to say, I was floored and speechless. You are so right my son, so right! The next day I told his Dad what had happened and to this day, we are both more careful and aware of being truthful with him. He expects no less from us, and so he should but boy did he ever give me a lesson that day.

Resources: This article was written by Shawn Wilson, who is part of the customer support team at Datepad, an Internet Dating website.