Category: Humor

Discover A Great Reason To Laugh Out Loud Now

Posted by Seeley in Humor

     

Serious people Beware! You are entering an area where your seriousness is under threat.

If seriousness is your forte, be alert to the symptoms of laughter that’s contagious. Run for cover as you feel your mouth corners twitch and unexpected giggles push themselves up continuously - sure signs you’re becoming addicted to laughter.

No! The laughter doesn’t stop there! Ever seen the rolling on floor emoticon? Holding the sides, down on the floor with tears rolling down the cheeks? That’s hitting the peak of laughter, and it is addicting, too.

John had a parrot. The parrot had a bad vocabulary and an equally bad attitude. John tried his best in all possible ways to teach the parrot to clean up its vocabulary. It only got worse with the parrot’s rude behavior.

Irritated by the parrot, John caught the yelling parrot and stuffed it into the freezer. There was silence.

Worried about the parrot, John pulled it out of the freezer. He was amazed to find the parrot on it’s best behavior, using completely appropriate language. John understood completely when the parrot quietly asked, “By the way, what mistake did the turkey make?”

Laughter makes us lose control of ourselves by retrieving our playfulness and innate sense of being light-hearted.

A heart patient won a billion dollars in the lottery, and his friend wanted to make sure the news was passed on to him slowly. He approached the heart patient and asked him, what would you do if you happened to win a billion dollars in the lottery? The heart patient stated that he would surely share it 50-50 with his friend. Shocked by the heart patient’s reply, his friend dropped dead!

There are three types of people in this world: those who make things happen, those who watch things happen, and those who wonder what happened. Needless to say, the heart patient belonged to the third category.

Is there any difference between humor and laughter? Humor is the cause of laughter and laughter is the effect of humor. Trigger your sense of humor to bring out the laughter. Humor is an intellectual capacity to perceive something funny, and laughter is a physical reaction to the stimulation of humor.

A Conversation between God and Man
Man: How much is a second for you?
God: a second equates to 10000 years
Man: What is penny equivalent to you?
God: a penny is one million dollars
Man (mischievously): I am poor so can you spare me a penny?
God: Why not? Give me a second.

Practical jokes live in memory and prank gifts make an ideal item for the young and the old. To play a practical joke or give a funny gift brings moments to cherish forever to those involved.

Laughter and humor help us fight stress by reducing anger and worries. Humor and laughter should be a part of everyday life - a way to bring back the natural smile that is often lost in our transition from childhood to adulthood. Let the child in yourself delight in the following statements made by children:

Nitrogen is not found in Ireland because it is not found in a free state.

When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe, you expire.

Liter: A nest of young puppies.

Germinate: To become a naturalized German.

The tides are a fight between the earth and moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Resources: Ready for some hilarity? You will Laugh for Sure - try it today! http://www.laughinghumor.com

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Making Your Magic Performance Mysterious And Humorous

Posted by Sankeymagic in Humor

     

All human knowledge take the form of interpretation. - Walter Benjamin

As both a seasoned magician and stand-up comic, I have a relatively unique, first-hand experience of the perplexing relationship between the mysterious and the humorous.

Sometimes, the apparently impossible can be very funny because a performance of strong magic can create the tension required for a big laugh. My favorite example of this is the audience member who bursts into laughter the moment you open your hand to show that a coin has disappeared. Due to the individual’s mood and personality, and the magician’s demeanor, the tension is released in laughter rather than frustration or even anger.

Tension release is one of the underlying dynamics of all performance art, but depending upon how you frame a particular performance (as a mystery, a comedy, a romance, etc.) the presentation will inspire various kinds of tension and release.

With this in mind, you would do well to structure your performance as a mindfully orchestrated series of tensions followed by moments of release. But how does one distinguish between the moments you want the audience to laugh and the moments you want them to feel awe? Of course, many comic magician’s attempt to marry the two, but this can be extremely difficult. While a magic show requires the audience to believe, many gags and jokes actually require the audience to disbelieve.

Consider how audiences might react if they believed that the absurd stories comics often tell were actually true. People would be offended, annoyed and even alarmed. However, audiences know they are just stories. Of course, audiences also often maintain a certain amount of disbelief during a magic show, but when a signed playing card appears inside a sealed envelope inside a wallet, that is not just a story. It actually happened. (Imagine saying, Just joking! after making three coins vanish into thin air. Or telling a joke about strangling a local politician with your bare hands and then insisting that you were completely serious.

For a few years I tried to introduce powerful magic moments into my stand-up act while performing in comedy clubs, but it almost always seemed to result in a kind of theatrical confusion. As long as I was telling jokes, the audience would be comfortable, laughing and having a good time. (Well, most of the time!)

Then when I would perform a feat of magic and completely mystify everyone in the room, it was as if the connection between myself and the audience would suddenly break. I would lose their focus, people would turn to each other to swap comments on the magic, and I would have to spend four or five minutes slowly regaining a rhythm and the audience’s trust.

It seems to me that to inspire awe and wonder (as opposed to That’s a neat trick!) you have to appear to take what you do seriously. Not overly seriously, but with some degree of seriousness, if only during the key magic moments. In contrast, to inspire laughter it is generally more effective to act in an altogether lighter fashion.

Comedy and magic seem to be strangely at odds with each other, though of course you could say, It all comes down to the individual performer and how he or she presents their magic and comedy. As undoubtedly true as this generalization is, the vast majority of the magicians I have seen who effectively combine magic with comedy do so by watering down the magic, often even reducing it to the butt of jokes. I hate that. I love magic and have the greatest respect for it, though I do understand that because many people find magic and magicians threatening, they are the perfect grist for the comedy mill. I still loathe seeing it belittled and made fun of.

Resources: Jay Sankey is a true magician’s magician and is widely considered to be one of the most original thinkers and finest magic teachers alive today. He is also one of the most prolific magic creators on the planet. Visit href=”http://www.sankeymagic.com”>www.sankeymagic.comfor more information about Sankey Magic. Receive a free trick every month via email. Click here to sign up for a free magic trick monthly.

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An Amusing Look At The Journey Home

Posted by Enrico in Humor

     

So you’ve finally made it through the day. Boredom is beaten, battered, bruised and broken, lying defeated at your feet. You march out of the office into the glorious outside world, free at last, free to cast off the shackles of rules and regulations and do whatever you want. You have precious few hours until you’re forced into the inevitable and you must sleep before the return to your place of work the following day, so make the most of it. There’s just one thing for it, drive home.

The drive home is different for everyone, unless you live with someone that works at the same place as you and drives separately, which would be strange so I will ignore that scenario. The drive home should be a carefree time, a time to relax and listen to some music while you cruise through the lanes getting ever further from work and ever closer to home, boredom seeping away with every mile you cover. Except it is not always so, sometimes life throws up obstacles and barriers to impede you, things that seem to have the sole purpose of delaying you for as long as possible.

The thing that I encounter with every single journey I’ve ever had to work is temporary roadworks and the traffic lights that they bring, like a squirrel bringing nuts in the spring. The Highway Agency will manage to strategically place the obstruction at the place where it will cause maximum disruption to motorists, causing you the most enormous delays. Of course, when you get there there is already a queue and so you won’t have enough time to get through when the light turns green. Watch in despair as the person in front of you stops as the lights turn amber, blocking you and consigning you to another wait. Frustrating to say the least.

Have faith, clear you mind of rage, you’re through the lights and home free, surely. Well slow down there Linford because you’re not. Not by a long shot, not if the guy in the Toyota Yaris has anything to do about it. Not. When you drive home the road will be plagued by really slow drivers. People intent on just making you drive more slowly. It’s not like you’re trying to speed either, these people insist that you must drive at 40mph when the speed limit is 60mph. They make you drive at 20mph through that village, anyone that might want to make decent progress is clearly mental. Adding to your woes the only good overtaking spots are always busy, thwarting your mental efforts and extending your journey by a huge amount.

Despite all the obstacles and annoyances you face you will make it home, home to an evening that is free for you. You can do whatever you want. The sad thing is that more often than not you’re like a bottle full of rage and someone’s been shaking. All the boredom and annoyances of the way home have left you shaken and ready to explode. What will happen?

Resources: Patrick is an expert Research and Travel consultant. His current interest is in Gatwick parking, Gatwick parking and Gatwick hotels.

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An Amusing Look At An Afternoon Of Complete Boredom

Posted by Enrico in Humor


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Sitting at my desk, and every time I look at the clock it seems to be the same time. Three hours until I go home, little bit of work, e-mail, still three hours to go home. Days like this can be very difficult to get through, much like eating a bucket of rancid fish heads - it will come to an end but until then it’s going to feel like an eternal struggle.

Lunchtime is meant to be a welcome distraction from the monotony of work but on a bad day can make coming back to work even harder. You are torn between the idea of a quiet lunch where you can appreciate every minute, or making the most of the time at the risk of it speeding past. Or you can just go home and not come back, this is frowned upon though so apply with caution.

Afternoons are difficult as you will inevitably be thinking about going home. If there isn’t very much work for you to be doing, then this can only exacerbate the situation. Being busy is the perfect antidote to a slow afternoon, so I sit quietly praying for some e-mails or phone calls where I will be given a rush of important work. The phone remains silent and my mind begins to wander.

The internet is my saviour as at least I have access to information and news to relieve some of the horrific outbreak of boredom to which I am currently subjected. Office jobs are grossly overrated when you are at school, if you wanted to be a manual labourer it was discouraged but only experience will teach you these cruel lessons. I wish I was out making, fixing or breaking things right now.

The definition of boredom on my desktop dictionary is described as ‘the state of feeling bored’. What useful information and so valuable to my development. Bored is described as ‘feeling weary because one is unoccupied or lacks interest in one’s current activity’ and this sums up my current feeling. I feel both unoccupied and a lack of interest. I am bored.

You know that the day is going slow when you go to the toilet or kitchen in the office, just to waste a few minutes here and there. If you find yourself taking your mobile phone to play games in the toilet then you really are in trouble. I am yet to reach this state of desperation so will continue writing this article. Article writing is my therapy.

I have a bit of a yawn, look around the office for inspiration and another yawn before remembering the task at hand. This article will awaken me from this post-lunch slumber and set me up for a productive afternoon at my computer screen. If not, then maybe I will have to make tea again. That will kill five minutes.

There is still three hours to go. How did that happen? I have written almost 500 words and no time has passed. It may be an impossibility and you are my integrity will be shattered by this confession but I can’t explain it. Three hours to go, like some sort of hellish eternity. Still, could be worse as at least my new hat arrived in the post this morning and Nickelback are touring. The world isn’t so bad after all.

Resources: Patrick is an expert Research and Travel consultant. His current focus includes Hilton Heathrow, Heathrow parking and Airparks Luton.

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An Amusing Look At The Days Of The Week

Posted by Enrico in Humor


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The week is traditionally made up of seven days of equal length and depth. Depending on your preference, the week starts with either Monday or Sunday and ends with either Saturday or confusingly Sunday again. The names of the days of the week are based either on numerical or planetary meanings, such as Saturday which takes it name from Saturn, the planet.

The days of the week are associated with various things including, emotions, people, numbers and cakes. Sunday is ideal for cake. Sunday gets its name from being the day when it was most sunny when they picked names for days. It is generally considered the most religious day of the week, as shops and that used to be shut although not anymore.

Now shops are open, Sunday is not considered to be as religious, especially as Sunday league football has got more popular and a lot of these games are played in the morning. Other things that regularly happen on Sunday are the Eastenders omnibus for people who missed episodes in the week and newspapers add more pages and charge more.

Monday’s child is fair of face, according to the traditional folk rhyme. So, where does the name come from? Monday is named after the moon, simply remove one of the middle vowels and it would be mon, then add day on the end. The day of the moon is the least favourite of many people as it is usually the first working day of the week.

Sir Bob Geldof, of Band Aid fame, wrote and sang a song called I Don’t Like Mondays, also Garfield the cartoon cat doesn’t like it but didn’t sing about it, he just looked miserable and made dour comments. Mondays are not very popular, although if you are unemployed every day is pretty similar as you don’t have to go to work.

Tuesday is the second or third day of the week. It traditionally occurs after Monday, but also after Sunday, although it never happens straight after Sunday as this space is occupied by Monday. It is named after the planet Mars, although the relationship between Tues and Mars seems stretched at best.

Wednesday is not named after the number four, which is where it is positioned in this article’s list of days. It is actually named of the god Woden, from the Anglo-Saxons in about the 7th century. Wednesday is the middle of the traditional working week and children born on Wednesday are full of woe.

Thursday’s child isn’t full of woe, but maybe they should be. Many woeful things have happened to people born on Thursdays, almost as many as those born on Wednesdays. Named after Jupiter, Thursday usually has good stuff on TV including Never Mind The Buzzcocks and The Apprentice, although that may have been moved to Tuesday for the most recent series.

Friday is when most British families eat their traditional meal of fish and chip pie. This is deep-fried during the day, while the family is at work, leading to the day being called Fryday. The name was changed as it clashed with a local pub’s quiz night, Pete’s Fryday Quiz Night, and so the spelling was adapted accordingly.

Saturday is the best day of the week by a country mile. A country mile is longer than a normal mile, although I thought a mile is a mile no matter where it is. Sixth or seventh day of the week, it doesn’t really matter as long as you don’t have to work. Saturdays are for football, and is named after Saturn as it looks most like a football out of all the planets.

The Beatles once wrote a song called eight days a week, their claims have never been backed up by evidence of any kind. There is still just the traditional seven day week that we are taught at school, although rock stars always try to push the boundaries of the status quo. Status Quo never claimed that there was ever eight days in a week.

Resources: Patrick is an expert Research and Travel consultant. His current interest is in Luton airport parking, Airparks Luton and Heathrow hotels.

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An Amusing Look At Hats For All Occasions

Posted by Enrico in Humor


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Every occasion demands a different hat. A hat is used to cover your head or heads. Desperate times call for desperate hats. A hat in the hand is worth two in the bush. We can talk hats all day but enough of these ancient proverbs, today is all about hats. Pull a rabbit out of the hat with this guide to hats for all occasions.

Wherever you go and whatever you do, a hat should always be the first thing you take. They say the dog is man’s best friend, but in actual fact it is widely-known to be the hat. The importance of your hat is shown by where you wear it - on your head. Putting unimportant things on your head would be mental, so pop that vital accessory on top as your crowning glory.

There are so many types of hat that you could wear a different one every day for a year and still not wear a trilby. But, the trilby, or trilby hat, is perfect for men to wear when they are looking to make an impression on a prospective girlfriend or to catch the pink panther. The trilby is traditionally made of felt, but gentry will sometimes use wool or maybe tweed for that rich eccentric look.

Baseball caps are the coolest hat to be associated with a particular sport. Snooker balaclavas did not have the versatility of the baseball cap and so their popularity failed to take-off in the same way. Baseball caps can be worn outside of baseball games, often seen on the heads of troubled and aggressive youths on the streets of Banbury.

Back to front, the baseball cap was made popular in the 90s by Limp Bizkit’s singer Fred Durst. He wore a red one that had a little logo on it and probably was large or extra large, but could possibly have been medium. Without accurate head measurements, it is hard to tell the size of the baseball cap as it looks tight or loose depending on the wearer. Much like other hats in this way is the baseball cap.

Balaclavas are the hat of choice for urban terrorists and boys with cold ears. Mothers will often knit their sons balaclavas to stop them getting ear infections. Bank robbers will wear a balaclava, or pair of tights, on their head to distort or hide their facial features so as to avoid identification and arrest. Due to their use, balaclavas have been made illegal in 48 US states and cannot be taken on to aeroplanes.

An akubra is an Australian hat that I saw on the internet. It looks like an oversized trilby but should not be worn by people with bigger heads that want to wear trilbys. Just get a bigger rimmed trilby. They are a bit like a fedora but I haven’t mentioned them yet so think of them as a bigger trilby.

Bucket hats. Look like Liam Gallagher for just a few hard-earned English pounds. They are like a normal hat that has melted and the rim has flopped down. Young girls wear them on holiday so they don’t burn their heads. Guys at music festivals can also wear them to look cool and alternative but generally this hat should be avoided by people over the age of six.

The dunce cap should only be worn by dunces. This massive pointy cone is given to stupid people, although less regularly used due to bullying and emotionally distraught kids. Don’t buy a dunce hat as a gift as it could give the wrong impression. Get them a deerstalker instead - they are ace.

Hard hats must be worn on building sites to prevent head damage when bricks fall from above. This is the only suitable hat for this use, a sombrero is big but not firm enough and the fez will do little to minimise brick impact.

There is a hat that looks like a normal cap but has miniature helicopter propellors on the top. This hat was made popular by the geeks in US hit TV show Saved by the Bell, although more recently it has made a comeback in wacky, fun offices across the UK. If you work in a funny office, wear one of these and watch as your hilarious gag will have them all in stitches.

Mortarboards should be worn at graduation and if you are a cartoon teacher. Flat cap is perfect for old men and young ruffians, otherwise avoid. Hats are great and you should take advantage of the various other styles and ranges available to you. Go out, buy a hat and have a very merry christmas in your new hat - whichever hat it may be. Hats.

Resources: Patrick is an expert Research and Travel consultant. His current interest is in Stansted hotels, Heathrow hotels and Heathrow parking.

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