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What is Flexible and Fluid, As Well As Being Before and After Hummingbird?

“Take your work in life seriously…take yourself lightly.” - C.W. Metcalf, author of Lighten Up.

“A merry heart makes a good medicine…” - Old Hebrew Proverb.

Did you figure out the answer to the riddle? The words human and humor both start with the prefix “hum” which comes from the Latin term that means “to be flexible and fluid”.

Furthermore, you will find human before hummingbird and humor after hummingbird in the dictionary. All of which brings us to the connection between breathing, smiling, humor and being human.

When you use healthy humor (which means that it is only directed at yourself, not others, and it does not have a negative effect on your self-esteem) you will invite laughter.

Laughing will both put a smile on your face and make you breathe deeper. In fact, good deep belly laughs for several minutes have the same positive effect on the heart as an aerobic workout. Plus, it is very good “medicine” for your Soul.

Norman Cousins found this out in his life.

Potentials Media writes of him, “Cousins is often described as the man who laughed his way to health, a simplified explanation of the controversial healing method the author/editor employed when he was diagnosed in the mid-1960’s as having ankylosing spondylitis. The degenerative disease causes the breakdown of collagen, the fibrous tissue that binds together the body’s cells.

Almost completely paralyzed, given only a few months to live, Cousins ordered himself checked out of the hospital. He moved into a hotel room and began taking extremely high doses of vitamin C and also exposed himself to equally high doses of humor.

Slowly Norman regained use of his limbs. As his condition steadily improved over the following months, Cousins resumed his busy life, eventually returning to work full-time at the Saturday Review. Cousins detailed his journey in “Anatomy of an Illness”.

In December, 1980, some fifteen years after winning his bout with ankylosing spondylitis, Cousins suffered a near-fatal heart attack while teaching in California. As before, he made his body a personal laboratory.

He refused morphine, changed his visiting schedule to ensure rest, and gradually improved. Cousins once again published his findings in “The Healing Heart” for millions to learn from and enjoy.”

Pretty powerful stuff, huh??!!

I would like to invite you to find time to laugh at least three times every day. Start by standing in front of a mirror. Place your index finger on the tip of your nose. Push it back and up slightly. While holding it there, stick your tongue in and out at a rapid pace.

If you would like to turbo-charge this activity, tell your friends about it and make it your “salute” that you all would use to accompany handshakes and hugs (with discretion, of course…some of the world just doesn’t get the humor conversation quite yet…but I’m working on that).

Years ago, I had the privilege of doing some “humor therapy” training with C.W. Metcalf. I won’t be so dramatic as to say that it saved my life, but it certainly did change it.

I learned to be less serious. I learned to let go of perfectionism (well, at least some of it). I learned to lighten up. And that, my friends, is the power of consciously breathing and smiling through humor.

Furthermore, your mood and energy are contagious, and that can’t help but leave others feeling better as well.

If you need more of a jump-start with your humor, then I would suggest clown noses and Groucho Marx glasses (I keep large quantities of both, in case any of my clients have emergencies). They are great to get you breathing deeply, smiling and laughing. They will help you to be more “human”, at least as the word truly means. Make it as important and regular as brushing your teeth.

And yes, this will carry you along even further on your journey of Stress-less Success. And here are my Eight Steps to Stress-less Success:

1. Create a life vision and visit it daily.

2. Live from the goals that reinforce your vision.

3. Learn and implement your personal balance points.

4. Practice boundaries, boundaries and boundaries.

5. Participate in supportive communities.

6. Feed your mind, body, heart and soul.

7. Keep what is most important, most important.

8. Consciously breathe and smile.

Ken Donaldson has been offering counseling, coaching, and educational programs since 1987. His programs are focused on empowering people to have more successful lives, businesses and relationships. Claim your FREE Relationship Success Special Report at Marry YourSelf First!. Ken is the author of Marry YourSelf First! Saying “I DO” to a Life of Passion, Power and Purpose.

I like to make things simple, like the ABC’s. It makes it easier for me to remember and therefore, live that way in my life. I’d like to share my ABC model with you.

A stands for Attraction; more specifically the Law of Attraction.

The Law of Attraction states that like energies attract each other. Positive attracts positive and negative attracts negative.

Therefore, if you are putting out negative energy you will therefore attract negative energy into your life. Likewise, if you are putting out positive energy you will attract positive energy into your life.

So the question is: What vibration are you sending out? If it is negative, how about experimenting with some new ways of managing your life to create more positive energy?

B stands for Boundaries; and that includes both the boundaries that you have with others and the boundaries you have with yourself.

Saying “No” to something that is unacceptable is an example of a boundary, as is assertively and proactively asking for what you do want.

Your boundaries with yourself will determine how much balance you have in your life. Knowing where to end one part of your life (i.e.: Work) and begin another (i.e.: Family) will help you to stay in touch with your whole being and therefore create more balance, which, in turn, always results in a happier and healthier lifestyle.

Do you know your boundaries and are you living according to them?

C stands for Communication; specifically your ability to attain and maintain productive communication with others.

Do you know how to avoid getting “hooked” by another’s manipulative maneuvering? Do you speak up for yourself, express your feelings and your requests directly? These are all examples of healthy communication skills.

But perhaps the biggest communication skill is that of listening.

Do you know how to combine martial artistry with your listening ability and create a space of “Zen Listening” in which you can be unaffected by what another may say but still stay in the conversation?

D stands for Deal-makers and Deal-breakers;
specifically your ability to know them and adhere to them.

If you have not written your lists of deal-makers and deal-breakers, then you are potentially setting yourself up to settle for something or someone beneath your standards.

When you settle for less you impact your self-esteem and distort your sense of reality.

The bottom-line is that living life without knowing or adhering to your deal-makers and deal-breakers sets you up for failure, depression, anxiety and addictive behavior. Now, you don’t want any of that, right??!!

Write your Deal-makers and Deal-breakers lists TODAY!!

E stands for Emotional Management; specifically the management of the “slipperier” emotions.

This would especially include anger, fear and sadness.

Most of us have not had any training on how to deal with these so we have made up our own “rules”
about these emotions. Many of these “rules” are very unrealistic and unhealthy.

The bottom-line is that you are an emotional being and you have every right to feel and express your feelings as long as you do not harm others as you are expressing yourself.

Fear is perhaps THE most challenging emotion, but
remember: You can have FEAR (Fictitious Events Appearing Real) or FEAR (Face Everything And Rejoice).

Which do you choose??

There you have it: A whole new way of living your ABC’s that you will never outgrow!!

Ken Donaldson has been offering counseling, coaching, and educational programs since 1987. His programs are focused on empowering people to have more successful lives, businesses and relationships. Claim your FREE Relationship Success Special Report at Marry YourSelf First!. Ken is the author of Marry YourSelf First! Saying “I DO” to a Life of Passion, Power and Purpose.

Roots and fruit…one of my favorite life philosophies.

I believe we are all very similar to trees in a metaphorical sense. We have our “fruit”, which are our results. These results are based on our behaviors in that our behaviors, or actions, are what create our results.

We have feelings and emotions, which are like the branches that carry the fruit. It is our emotions (e-motion = “energy in motion”) that motivates us (or not) into action.

We have thoughts, which are carried in the trunk of the tree. Our thoughts trigger or activate our emotions.

And then we have our roots, which is our belief system.

Whatever it is that we believe is what feeds the entirety of our being: our thoughts, our emotions, and our behaviors. Therefore, it is our beliefs that most impact our whole being and our results.

There is an old saying, “Whatever you can’t see is more powerful than what you can see.” This roots and fruit model is the ultimate example of this.

You cannot see the root system of a tree, nor can you outwardly see your belief system. Your belief system is “buried” and until you consciously evaluate and inventory it, you will have no idea of what is impacting your life from the inside.

Your beliefs affect your thoughts, your feelings, your behaviors and actions; and in the end, your results.

I have found that there are four primary beliefs that will either empower you or sabotage your success. They are as follows:

1. I have to perform at a certain level or else I am a failure. VS. I always do the best that I can and I accept my every outcome with gratitude.

2. If people don’t like me, accept me, or approve of me, I feel like a reject. VS. I attract and connect with all the people that I need who will accept me as I am.

3. If I fail I am unworthy of success, abundance, prosperity and love. VS. I accept my failure and mis-takes as experiments and every one validates my ongoing commitment to living my life fully.

4. I can’t change…This is the way I’ve been, this is the way I am, and this is the way I will always be. VS. I am an agent of change and I live in the possibility of newness every moment of my life.

I believe if you trace back any undesirable behavior or result, you will find one (or more) of these four beliefs at the root of it. Once you have identified it, you will then have a conscious awareness of what has been driving you and you can make a conscious choice to allow it or not.

You can then “bombard” yourself with your desired beliefs.

You take in information visually, auditorally, kinesthetically, and spiritually. Use all these information input portals to fill yourself with your desired beliefs.

Write down your desired beliefs on an index card everyday. Repeat them out loud in front of a mirror. Call and leave yourself a message with these beliefs in the message. Say them as mantras as you run, bike, workout, or rollerblade.

Visualize yourself living out your desired beliefs in a meditation. Pray a prayer of affirmation acknowledging that God is already instilling these beliefs into your root system and surrounding you with the Golden Light of Love and Protection that keeps these desired beliefs locked in your belief system.

Before you know it, you will be believing your desired beliefs. And that will give you more positive thoughts and emotions, which will create the behaviors and results you ultimately want in your life.

Remember: If you want sweet fruit, take very good care of your roots!

Note: In a conversation with my good friend, coach extraordinaire, and all-around very cool person, Deborah Roth, she actually came up with this exact phrase, so I have to give her the credit.

Ken Donaldson has been offering counseling, coaching, and educational programs since 1987. His programs are focused on empowering people to have more successful lives, businesses and relationships. Claim your FREE Relationship Success Special Report at Marry YourSelf First!. Ken is the author of Marry YourSelf First! Saying “I DO” to a Life of Passion, Power and Purpose.

I happened to overhear a conversation the other day between two men.

Young man has started learning about real estate investing. He has read books and attended seminars that put on by some gurus who make more money selling information about real estate investing than they do investing in real estate. I am impressed with the young man’s initiative and attitude, he is taking the action and willing to learn more, which is more than most people will do.

Old man owns his own house. Young man wants to buy real estate as an investment, no matter it is apartment buildings, office buildings or houses, it is that type of stuff. Well, old man has no experience in this area.

During the conversation, old man says to young man “Are you still going to attend more of those real estate nonsense seminars?”

By “nonsense” I know old man was referring to attending the “get rich quick” type seminars and not a condemnation of real estate investing. But he forgot one thing; those seminars came across as a condemnation of the young man’s process of educating himself towards to learn something new, something that could improve his life and the lives of his family.

Unfortunately, you probably already see there are many people are like that in your life. You may be a person like that in someone else’s life as well. People in your “box” don’t want you getting out!

You know the type of person that I am talking about here - people who negative towards to others whomever want to improve their life, to be different, to stand out, and to be more successful than they ever are.

I heard a great analogy for this by attending a free investment seminar. I knew the speaker would be advocating some risky financial moves, but I figured that since I was in the seminar and learn the business myself, I might be able to learn something useful and something new, eventually I did.

In many cases, people that you are associated with are mostly probably just like you. Your guys have similar educational with similar families and income background, when you talking to each other, you guys coming up with similar ideas. You live in houses and drive cars of similar value. You attend the same church, your kids attend the same schools and you shop in the same stores.

One could say you guys are in the same “box” or rut.
Unfortunately, the “instructions” on how to get out of your “box” are posted on the “outside” of your “box” where you can’t read them. You need someone who has already made it out to help you, to help you “read” the instructions so you can get out too.

Only with the help of successful person who already made it is not enough. You will also need to deal with your “boxmates” by yourself, you have to deal with those who would rather you stick around with them, and to keep them company in their sad little “box.”

In listening to the conversation between old man and young man I immediately flashed on the image of young man - he may starting to climb out of the box, the old man is trying to reaching up and grabbing him by the belt to pull him back in.

It is sad to say but it is all too common to see in the daily life. If any of this sounds familiar to you, you might have some hard decisions to make.

Understand that to get out of the ‘box’ is not a day or two days task, it takes time. If completely getting rid of a negative person from your life is not possible (e, g: spouse, relatives, employer, friends) then you have to clam up about your goals, dreams and desires.

You can discuss them only with people who will support you, or preferably with people who have already done what you want to do.

Thus, no matter what you want to accomplish or whatever you want to achieve, like to have a better lifestyle, get out of debt, starting your own business, going back to school, investing in real estate, mystery shopping, losing weight, taking piano lessons or anything else, just take action, simply get it started and keep the pie hole shut, otherwise you will forever stuck at ‘Think’ outside the box instead of ‘Get’ out outside the box.

Ann Liu, a certified professional Internet marketer and author of Online Profiting. To learn how YOU too can succeed in Internet and affiliate marketing, please visit http://Marketingbyann.com

Your mind has the fantastic ability to transform you most intimate desires and wants into their physical counterparts and create brand new realities of your current life. It is an amazing wonder what you mind can conceive of and then using your belief and will power to actually implement.

Are you skeptical? You should be because that also is an important part of your mind. It’s the part that relates information to your current reality to determine what to believe and what not to believe. The problem with this mechanism is that it often gets in the way of itself and doesn’t allow you to utilize your mind to its fullest.

For example, cancer patients who were given placebo pills (Placebos are often associated with sugar pills that have no medicine) as part of their treatment were able to get well without real medical treatment.

So how did these cancer patients get well?

The power to heal themselves came from their thoughts because they were told that the placebos contained the highest amounts of cancer-fighting medicine available which could cure them in a couple of days.

The cancer patients believed that their medicine would restore their health. Their minds turned their belief into a reality and cured them of their illnesses.

Isn’t it amazing how powerful your mind is?

Of course, if your mind can cure cancer patients then all of your dreams should be achievable if you only “set your mind to it.”

One of the most effective ways to use your mind for dream realization is to use the “as if” principle.

Using the “as if” principle, you act as if you are the person you want to be. Act as though the things that you want to possess are already in your possession. This isn’t necessarily a literal possession that we are talking about but often a figurative possession.

What do you want to be? Do you want to be a doctor, lawyer, newscaster, Olympic athlete? Think, act, and feel like one. By “being” your goal, you’ll be much closer to your goal because you are constantly in touch with your final objective. Be obsessed with your dream! You can be everything that you want to be.

For this to be effective, you can’t just act like you are what you want to be. You have to actually take ACTION. Don’t get so lost in this new reality that you forget to take action, because without action your new reality will remain a fantasy. Do what needs to be done and do it today! Let your dreams motivate you to actualize your purpose in your existing reality not just in your head.

There was a weightlifter who was stuck on 300lbs. No matter what he did he couldn’t figure out a way to lift more. So, one day his lifting coach decided to trick the lifter. He told the lifter that the bar only had 300 lbs on it. The weightlifter went to the bar and lifted the 300lbs as he had done every day prior. After the successful lift the coach told him that he had just lifted 350 lbs!

It’s often true we can do what we think we can’t, if we change what’s in our heads. There’s an old saying: “Fortune favors the prepared mind.” It’s all in the mind!

In today’s world, we’re far too preoccupied with our worries, anxieties, and negative emotions. All of that baggage has adversely affected the state of our health, creating stress-induced conditions and diseases.

A famous person once said, “Whenever you think you can or you can’t, you’re right.”

If you think that you are not rich, then you are not. You must recondition your thoughts and beliefs to be positive rather than negative. Many times it is hard to think rich if everything around you truly is poor but that when visualization with a bit of imagination are required.

Visualize your house/apartment to be a mansion, your old car to be new fancy sports car (no speeding), and everything else around you to be exceptional. Use your mind to expand the possibilities of your life into a new reality.

There is no limit to what your mind can achieve by combining belief, will power, and action with positive thinking and a positive mindset in order to arrive at your dream destination.

Anthony Stai is a proud contributing author and writes articles on several self-improvement related topics including positive thinking. You can see more of Anthony’s articles on his Self-Improvement Resources informational web site located at http://www.self-improvementresources.com.

Everyone, at some point of his or her life, has dreamed of being somebody special, somebody big.

Who hasn’t fantasized about being the one who hits the game-winning homer? Who hasn’t dreamed of being the homecoming queen? And how many times have we dreamed of being rich, or successful, or happy with our relationships?

Often time we dream big dreams and have great aspirations. Unfortunately, our dreams remain just that’s dreams. And our aspirations easily collect dust in our attic.

This is a sad turn of events in our life. Instead of experiencing exciting adventures in self actualization, we get caught up in the humdrum of living from day-to-day just barely existing.

But you know what? Life could be so much better, if only we learned to aim higher.

The most common problem to setting goals is the word impossible. Most people get hung up thinking I can’t do this, I can’t do that because it is too hard. It’s too impossible. And no one can do this and so forth.

However, if everyone thought that, there would be no inventions, no innovations, and no breakthroughs in human accomplishment.

Remember that scientists were baffled when they took a look at the humble bumblebee.

Theoretically, they said, it was impossible for the bumblebee to fly. Unfortunately for the bumble, bee no one has told it so. So fly it does.

On the other hand, some people suffer from dreaming totally outrageous dreams and not acting on them. The result? Broken dreams, and tattered aspirations.

If you limit yourself with self-doubt, and self-limiting assumptions, you will never be able to break past what you deem impossible. If you reach too far out into the sky without working towards your goal, you will find yourself clinging on to the impossible dream.

Try this exercise. Take a piece of paper and write down some goals in your life. Under one header, list down things ‘you know you can do’. Under another header, write the things ‘you might be able to do.’ And under one more, list the things that that are ‘impossible for you to do.’

Now look at all the headers strive every day to accomplish the goals that are under things ‘you know you can do’. Check them when you are able to accomplish them. As you slowly are able to check all of your goals under that heading, try accomplishing the goals under the other header-the one that reads ‘you might be able to do.’

As you iterate through this process, you will find out that the goals you thought were impossible become easier to accomplish. And the impossible begin to seem possible after all.

You see, the technique here is not to limit your imagination. It is to aim high, and start working towards that goal little by little. However, it also is unwise to set a goal that is truly unrealistic.

Those who just dream towards a goal without working hard end up disappointed and disillusioned.

On the other hand, if you told someone a hundred years ago that it was possible for man to be on the moon, they would laugh at you. If you had told them that you could send mail from here to the other side of the world in a few seconds, they would say you were out of your mind. But, through sheer desire and perseverance, these impossible dreams are now realities.

Thomas Edison once said that genius is 1 percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration. Nothing could be truer. For one to accomplish his or her dreams, there has to be had work and discipline. But take note that that 1 percent has to be a think-big dream, and not some easily accomplished one.

Ask any gym rat and he or she will tell you that there can be no gains unless you are put out of your comfort zone. Remember the saying, “No pain, no gain?” That is as true as it can be.

So dream on, friend! Don’t get caught up with your perceived limitations. Think big and work hard to attain those dreams. As you step up the ladder of progress, you will just about find out that the impossible has just become a little bit more possible.

Ann Liu, a certified professional Internet marketer and author of Online Profiting. To learn how YOU too can succeed in Internet and affiliate marketing, please visit http://Marketingbyann.com