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Disorganized desks, closets, garages, and file cabinets are often not what they seem. The procrastinator fixates on cleaning or clearing out some space, but that is not the primary problem. It is the symbol of another deeper issue. Over the years I have helped people discover the sometimes sad or frightening concern that lies at the heart of their procrastination.

Doris was so fed up with her messy desk that she finally sought my help. No matter how many times she promised herself that she would clean it up and clean it out she found lots of other things that came first. “It’s not a big desk. I should be able to finish the job in a few hours,” she whined. I proceeded to play the What If game with Doris in order to get to the bottom of her problem.

“What are you afraid will happen if you clean up your desk?” I asked. “I’ll feel better,” she replied. That is what procrastinators usually say. “Then what are you afraid will happen?” “It will look better.” “And then what are you afraid will happen?” “I’ll have time to clean out the book case.” I pushed and pushed asking, “and then what are you afraid will happen?” after each of her comebacks until the light dawned. “If I clean up my desk I’ll have to clean up my life, and I’ll have to divorce my husband,” she exclaimed. Where did that come from? What does a messy desk have to do with marriage?

I call this thinking process “logrolling.” Logrolling is a term used in politics to describe how politicians trade votes for their mutual benefit. For instance, if the Senator from one state needs support for his bill about improving transportation, he may contact the Senator from another state who proposes a bill about farming. They create one piece of legislation that includes both transportation and farming and push it through, although these two areas have nothing to do with each other.

When procrastinators unconsciously link together two problems that are totally dissimilar they become paralyzed and unable to solve either one. Jessica constantly complained that she couldn’t find the perfect man and was depressed. She had been divorced for five years, and her ex-husband was happily re-married, yet Jessica still had some of his clothing in her closet.

She desperately wanted to clean out the closet but couldn’t get around to it. It turned out that her unconscious wish was that her ex would come back to her, and she kept this possibility alive by symbolically keeping some of his belongings. Once she realized that a closet had nothing to do with grieving for the loss of her marriage, she was able to get rid of his things and restore order to her closet.

Ted remodeled his entire house, but six months later still had not put the knobs on the kitchen cabinets. He was exasperated and angry with himself for shirking the job. After he finished his tale of woe I insisted on asking him the What If questions. After a few rounds there was a long pause. Then Ted said, “If I complete my house I won’t have any more excuses to not invite people over and socialize.” “And then what are you afraid will happen,” I insisted. He realized why he was dragging his feet when he blurted out, “Then I will have to get married again!” The irrationality of this way of thinking is mind boggling, yet all of us do it at some time.

One way to push past your stuckness is to play the What If game with yourself or have a friend grill you. Go to a quiet place where you can be free of interruptions. Ask yourself this question, “What am I afraid will happen if I complete this project or reach my goal?” Write or say out loud the first thing that comes to mind. Don’t judge yourself on your answer. Ask again, making sure you use the word “afraid,” because that is what this is all about.

Keep this up until you have run our of the easy answers like, “I will be happy” or “I will be healthy.” Eventually you’ll hit pay dirt. The answer that springs to mind may have nothing to do with the project you are dawdling over. That is the point. Desks don’t have anything to do with marriage and kitchens don’t have anything to do with commitment. It’s all just logrolling.

Gloria Arenson, MFT, treats stress, anxiety, trauma, phobias, and compulsions. She has authored How to Stop Playing the Weighting Game, A Substance Called Food, Born To Spend, Five Simple Steps to Emotional Healing, Freedom At Your Fingertips and Procrastination Nation.
http://www.GloriaArenson.com

Are you struggling with your internet business? Not making the money you were promised? Are you having a hard time getting started?

Believe me, these are very common problems. Tons of beginning internet marketers are having the same problems. Don’t feel alone and don’t think you won’t ever be successful at this. Others are sitting there right now trying to deal with the same problems are you are having. Know what the reality is? You’re on the right track!

The right track? How can that be? It can be because every successful internet marketer has been exactly where are. You better believe it. Although this business has a low cost of entrance, the learning curve is quite high. Putting all the software, marketing information, correct integration, right niches, and correct positioning together is a learned skill and takes time.

The business in a box doesn’t exist! The gurus forgot to tell you, didn’t they? You see, they just want to sell you bits and pieces of the puzzle. I believe they just want to sell you dreams. I’m not even sure they care if you make a dime in this business. Did they tell you the average person entering this business will have to master at least 10 new types of software? I’m starting to digress.

Well, let’s get back to you. Okay, you’re sitting there, head spinning, not knowing what to do. You are probably wondering if this business is really right for you. Nothing is working and everything seems so complicated. The fact is, because you are sitting there reading this, you believe this business might be right for you. It probably is!

Let’s review what this business really is for a minute, just in case you’ve forgotten. An internet marketing business is one of the best ways to make lots of money and have freedom of time once you master it. It takes very little money to get started and it is self-financing. An internet marketing business is not a get-rich-quick scheme. The gurus forgot to tell you that is a lot of work to learn the right techniques, the software, and the integration to make it all work. Unfortunately, there is very little good straight and to the point step-by-step training.

Back to you, help is out there. Successful internet marketers all went through exactly what you are experiencing. The reason they are successful and others are not is simply persistence. You see, the industry can’t fail you but you can fail in the industry. You fail the industry and yourself when you give up. Don’t even think about not moving forward!

Listen, if you want direct, no-nonsense and to the point information, there is a source. No BS and no hype. But you will have to do the work and arm yourself with the tools that will push your success. It won’t be easy and you will have to read, study, practice, listen and learn.

Of course, you will also have to be yourself. You will put your own spin and creativity into your business. Before you’re through, you may develop new techniques and strategies. We would like to see you succeed and have put together some basic steps for you to follow.

If you arm yourself with the proper tools and master these tools, success will be yours. Good luck and we’ll see you there!

Jim Janowiak is an internet marketing business coach with Best Internet Business Builder. For the real deal visit

Best Internet Business Builder
questions@bestinternetbusinessbuilder.com

There are a lot of identity theft cases being reported today and many millions of dollars are being lost as a consequence. It will therefore pay to take a closer look at what is identity theft because the more knowledgeable you are about this particular form of theft, the better equipped you will be to prevent it from happening to you.

The first thing that strikes most people when they wonder exactly what is identity theft is that it involves someone hacking into a bank account (online) or is about using your credit card or your ATM in an illegal manner.

More Than Financial Losses

If you don’t know what identity theft is you will not be able to take preventive measures and you will also not be able to know when and how to look for instances of identity theft. What’s more, identity theft is not confined only to financial losses and there are in fact five different areas that you will need to learn about.

When learning more about what is identity theft, you need to also check to see whether it does not involve your driving license. Identity thieves are known to use stolen identities to create driving licenses in the names of their victims and will then go ahead and commit crimes or do other illegal things in your name - leaving you to face the consequences.

Another aspect to identity theft is the one that relates to stolen Social Security numbers. So, your search for an answer to what is identity theft should also take into account that your Social Security number is a prime target for identity thieves. By stealing your Social Security number, thieves can get 1099 jobs and even cash paychecks while conveniently forgetting to pay their taxes and then leaving you to shoulder the responsibility of correcting their erroneous ways.

Yet another area in which identity thieves strike is by stealing your medical insurance. It means that the next time that you enquire about what is identity theft makes sure to also check whether a thief has not illegally used your health care insurance by having made off with your health insurance card.

In fact, identity theft can also affect your character and this is an area in which you will need to be well informed about because this form of identity theft can be especially hurtful for you. Once your character has been compromised you will find it very difficult indeed to restore your damaged reputation. Finally, you also need to ask questions related to what is identity theft with regard to your finances.

By understanding what identity theft is, particularly in the five areas mentioned above, you will be able to protect you a lot better. Today, there are also credit monitoring services that can help consumers learn to deal with credit fraud and therefore you need to also become better acquainted with this aspect to credit fraud as well. It is never a good idea to wait till identity theft strikes you; rather, you need to find out as much as is possible about what is identity theft and then take remedial steps so that you enjoy a life free from different forms of identity theft.

Bill Protresi is an online security providing tips and advice. Visit Bill at his general security site.

If you live with an invisible illness, you may find the emotions of coping with people’s doubts about it can be harder to manage than the disease itself. Most of us with a chronic illness must eventually accept our condition. In order to live our best life, we need to educate ourselves about the disease and make well-researched decisions about treatment.

Those with illness, however, have no ability to make others except the illness or even acknowledge it. We are loved ones are skeptical about the existence or seriousness of her disease, it can be devastating. It can wound our self-worth and cause problems in our relationships.

So what is the best way to respond when someone you care about refuses to accept that you really are ill and that your life is changing dramatically because of it? Here are four steps to best cope:

1. Go with it. Though the seriousness of your illness is significant under your roof, it isn’t that important to others. And there’s no magical conversation you can have with the person that will make him change his mind. The most likely way your friend will accept that your illness is real, is by observing you. For example, your invisible illness may begin to have some visible side effects. When he sees you struggle to get up out of a chair, don’t comment; just let him take it all in.

2. Grow with it. Use this as an opportunity to reflect on how you perceive other people and what you assume about their abilities. For example, when you’re standing in line at the store and feeling wiped out, it is easy to assume “No one else knows how hard this is for me!” Surprisingly, nearly 1 in two people live with an illness and about 96% of the painful diseases are invisible. So the odds are that there are people who do actually understand how you feel. Also, think about what situations your friends are experiencing that you don’t really understand. Is a friend suffering from a spouse who has had an affair? Do they have a parent who has Alzheimer’s? Or have they recently lost a job? All of these events dramatically change one’s life and your friends can use your empathy and understanding.

3. Get over it. You may find yourself thinking “No one understands!” so frequently that you are missing out on new friendships. Save yourself the grief and don’t obsess over how much people sympathize or if they do it appropriately. Though we would all like a loved one to be able to experience what it would be like to slip inside our skin for twenty-four hours, it’s never going to happen. If people around you feel like they can never please you, soon you won’t have any relationships left. You cannot change how someone else thinks; you only have control over your own behavior. So make sure your conversations are full of grace.

4. Get on with it. Life is precious and short and no material things in your life can replace friends and family. It is true that the intimacy level in your relationship will not ever be high if your illness is not at least believed to exist. But if you still want a relationship, and it’s a healthy one in other ways, it can happen.

The odds are that in time your friend will eventually have his own health crisis, and have some level of understanding about what you have faced on a daily basis. He may even turn to you for advice. Be supportive and encouraging. Don’t say “I told you so.”

Go with it. Grow with it. Get over it. Get on with it.

Relationships with those who don’t understand the seriousness of your illness can exist. Be positive, accepting him for what he’s able to give to the relationship, and have reasonable expectations. Someday, this may prove to be one of your most special friendships.

Receive 200 tips from “Beyond Casseroles: 505 Ways to Encourage a Chronically Ill Friend” by Lisa Copen when you sign up for HopeNotes chronic illness ezine at Rest Ministries. Lisa is the founder of Invisible Illness Awareness Week

There are not many people who have not heard of hypnosis. However, some of the information out there that people pick up may not be completely accurate. Hypnosis has been used for years to improve the quality of life and because of this we wanted to give everyone a clear image to what Hypnosis really is and various aspects of it. There are many people in the world that want to change one thing or another about themselves or their lives. Hypnosis is one of those great tools to help a person change the things they dislike about their lives.

If you think that hypnosis is the way to make a few positive changes in your life you will want to continue reading through the rest of this article. We are sure that by reading what we have to say you will have all your questions about hypnosis answered and be able to move on to a better life. Hypnosis has been used all over the world for centuries, of course it was not the same every where but it was used in many different forms. In one place people would use what were called Sleep Chambers to help the body and mind relax and in another place they would use repetitive dancing, chanting and singing to change the person’s state of mind.

Many people think of hypnosis as something that can be done to you by a professional hypnotist or something that can be done to one’s self through self-hypnosis videos. Although this is how it is normally done, there is so much more to hypnosis than listening to a hypnotist or tape until you are in a deep trance. For hypnosis to even work correctly the subject has to be in the right frame of mind, so to speak. You see there are four different types of waves that your brain sends out, each type of wave coincides with the state of mind you are in.

If your brain is giving off beta waves this means that your mind is in the waking state. If your brain is giving off Alpha wave this means that your mind is in the Concentration State. If Theta waves are being given off by your brain this means you are in a state of relaxation or mediation and if Delta waves are coming from your brain you are in the Dream State. The best times for hypnosis is when the brain is in the concentration and Meditation State giving off either Alpha or Theta brain waves. The mind is easily influenced during the delta and theta states in which voice can be a very powerful tool.

The subconscious mind is very powerful; in fact it is the connection between the conscious mind and the nervous system. Everything you have seen, experienced and felt is locked away in your subconscious. However, the conscious mind is much different, it is thinking about the here and now and is, in a way, trapped in the moment but it is also influenced by the subconscious. When a person has a bad habit it is because the conscious mind is often caught up in things that could have unhealthy consequences.

The subconscious is aware that the conscious mind is repeating what we know as bad habits. Therefore if certain suggestions are made during a state of hypnosis to the subconscious all kinds of behaviors can be influenced and bad habits can be broken. For example: if a person is a heavy smoker and they go to a hypnotist or hypnotherapist for help quitting the professional would offer suggestions to the subconscious mind of the patient that smoking is bad. Therefore when the person comes to they will not have a desire to smoke anymore.

Kevin Sinclair is the publisher and editor of My-Personal-Growth.com, a site that provides information and articles for self improvement and personal growth and development.

Upon the diagnosis of an illness everyone, including your doctor, likely tells you to go to a support group. Research has shown that support groups can be extremely helpful in how one copes with disease. And yet, not everyone finds a group to be the answer to the kind of support for which they are searching. Like any kind of group, there are some support groups you will “click” with and others you will not. So don’t rule out all support groups just because one doesn’t seem like a good fit.

But the question still arises. Regardless of whether you are looking for a colon cancer support group or a endometriosis support group, the real question may be, do you really need a support group at this time in your life? Many changes occur while we live decades with illness and there are seasons in our life when an illness support group may hold our very best of friends, and other times when we have no need to attend whatsoever.

Here are eight signs that you may not need a support group right now:

1. You are coping well with the day-to-day aspects of living with illness. You don’t think about your illness non-stop because you’re simply too busy living life.

2. You have a trustworthy group of people who influence you in positive ways. Friends or family members appreciate the magnitude of the choice you make to live your best life possible, despite your daily pain.

3. You don’t feel resentment, anger, or bitterness toward people who don’t deal with chronic conditions. Your relationships with others aren’t tainted by you comparing your abilities (or lack of) with others entering your thoughts.

4. You can have conversations with people without your illness ever entering into it. You understand that your illness is not such a vital part of who you are that you need to explain your medical history to every stranger you meet.

5. You don’t watch others with envy. You feel you have overcome any annoyances you may have previously felt toward people who have their health, but who do not seem to be appreciating it.

6. You have found that when you sit around at support group meetings talking about the highs and lows of living with illness, you rarely leave the meeting feel better. The support group you are in is more depressing than refreshing and talking about your illness doesn’t seem to be helpful.

7. You feel comfortable researching symptoms or making calls to find the information you need in order to be a good advocate for your health and illness.

8. You have formed a friendship with at least one other person who has an illness. It’s important for you to have someone with whom you can vent openly and share your vulnerabilities with in regard to how you live and cope with illness. And contributing your own ideas with another person who understands the details and “language” of illness will be helpful too.

If some of the examples above sounded like a description of where you are at with support groups, it’s likely you don’t really need a support group right now in order to live emotionally healthy with a chronic illness. However, you may be surprised to find that you could be an excellent leader of an illness support group. All of the statements above can be an easy way to create a proposal for starting up a support group.

The most thriving support groups are those which are led by people who have conquered the daily exasperation and bitterness that arise during the first years of a diagnosis. Since you have dealt with all of the emotional ups and downs, a support group of individuals still feeling under attack would benefit from your knowledge and understanding.

If the idea of leading a support group doesn’t sound appealing right now, that’s fine too! Go have fun with any activity you feel passionate about. Just remember, there are remarkable people in support groups who will be there to offer comfort when you find you need it.

Receive 200 tips from “Beyond Casseroles: 505 Ways to Encourage a Chronically Ill Friend” by Lisa Copen when you sign up for HopeNotes chronic illness ezine at Rest Ministries. Lisa is the founder of Invisible Illness Awareness Week