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So that day that you never thought would ever get here is getting here. Soon. You have dreamed about it. You play-acted it on your recent vacation. You saved for it. Maybe not enough, but hey, it’s never enough, right?

But are you really ready to retire? If your financial advisor tells you that the money is sufficient, that’s wonderful! But that alone does not make you ready. We call this the “King Midas” myth. You can certainly be excused if you believe it because we are all being battered with this myth by the financial services industry. I’m in this industry so I know of what I speak.

But if money were the answer, then why do 40% of retirees say they were happier when they were working? Retirement has not made 40% of them instantly poor. The problem is psychological. My friend and co-author, Alan Bernstein, is a psychotherapist and life coach in New York City with many clients who are rich but unhappy retirees in search of help.

Think of it this way. We spent years and years and tons of money (or at least our parents did) preparing for our careers. During our work life, we kept ourselves current in our professions to stay competitive. But now, when it comes to beginning a brand new phase of life, one that could potentially last another 25+ years, we just wing it. No preparation necessary. Grab the money and run.

But run where? What kind of a life awaits us? And how can we be sure that we will be creating a life that will make us satisfied, fulfilled, and, yes, happy? Because retirement is not a perpetual vacation. We call this the “Carnival Cruise” myth, and if you believe it, you are likely to be very disappointed.

So what should you do? Start by thinking differently about retirement. Forget about the finances and the perpetual vacation for a while, and put some quality time into thinking about the daily life you want to lead in retirement. Begin by remembering the times that you felt happiest in the course of your regular life, rather than when you were on vacation. Remember in particular the times when you felt an extreme sense of purpose, when you were so involved in what you were doing that you lost all sense of time. Psychologists call this at state of “flow.” What were you doing? What were you accomplishing? Who were you with? What were the physical and social circumstances?

Now think about how you can recreate similar experiences in your retirement life. Write them down. Think also about those things you have always wanted to do (learn another language, read all the “great books,” learn to play an instrument, etc.) but never had time to do. Add these in too. Also think about the overall context of your retirement. Where will you be living? Who will you be spending time with? What will you and your spouse be doing together? What will you be doing apart? Remember, we all need our personal space. Once you have thought about these questions, share them with those closest to you who will be part of your retirement life to make sure they are in agreement and supportive. You need their buy-in to make it all work. Modify your plans based on their feedback. By doing these things, you become your own “life coach.”

Now you are ready to start adding in the details of what we call your “NewLife Plan.” Put this plan in the context of your first two years of retirement. Think again about your daily life and routine, because that is what retirement is really all about. And make some initial estimates about what this is going to cost in comparison with what you are spending pre-retirement. (Hint: plan for at least 80% of your pre-retirement spending, or more, unless you are making a major move to a significantly less expensive part of the world.)

Now you are ready to meet with your financial advisor, and he/she will be able to provide you with a very valuable service. You can now share with him/her the details of your NewLife Plan and get help figuring out how to restructure your assets to support your new lifestyle. (Hint: in retirement, you will need to change the sources and uses of your income, so you are, in fact, developing for yourself a new financial strategy.)

And what if it doesn’t all add up? Your financial advisor can help you make adjustments to your NewLife Plan to bring it into balance with your finances and the number of years your money will need to sustain you. The goal is two-fold: to have a happy retirement (because you have self-coached yourself psychologically to create a life that has you doing the things you love) and you have done your best to ensure that you don’t run out of money before you run out of life.

And here’s the ultimate incentive: studies show that happy people live longer!

John Trauth is co-author of “Your Retirement, Your Way” (McGraw-Hill, 2007), a step-by-step curriculum which helps readers prepare for the psychological, strategic and financial aspects of this major life transition and thrive in retirement! Learn more about this book and take the free “retirement readiness quiz” at http://www.yourretirementyourway.com.

Decoding handwriting can be used for all sorts of purposes. It’s used for finding criminals, explaining a person’s emotional state or personality. Some even say it can be used to determine if a person is homosexual.

A very famous woman medical doctor, with years of teaching in a famous medical college has this to say about sex when she was asked this question: “Why is it that there can never be a discussion of sex with an impersonal slant?” Her comment which follows is the finest brief concept of sex relationships I have ever heard from a speaker’s platform: “With love the sex act is a sacrament. Without love, it is as exhilarating as spitting and gives relief in the same fashion.”

Sex is everywhere. You and I would not be here if it were not for it. Handwriting reveals sex appetites and desires the same at it reveals whether the writer is a potential thief, or a domineering, acid-tongued individual. It is this fact that caused me to answer a question badly a good many years ago. In a class in Hollywood, attended by people from all walks in life, including a priest who had traveled some 3,000 miles to take the week’s work, some one in the audience put up a hand. “Can you tell from handwriting if a man or woman is a deviate?”

What the questioner meant was whether handwriting revealed homosexuality. My answer was a positive “yes” rather than an evasion of the question. After that in various schools held from coast to coast it invariably happened that some man or woman, or several of them would come up after a class closed, hand me a slip of paper, and in a strictly hush-hush tone ask “Is he?” or Is she?” If I assumed ignorance they stammered and stuttered and ended up by saying “you know what I mean.” Certainly I knew what they meant, but as sex is rather primary to life it did not seem to me to be necessary to whisper the question, nor the answer.

However, I should have made my answer to the first question more complete. Handwriting shows homosexuality in some cases and in some it does not. If the writer is conscious that he or she is a homosexual, and is concerned about it, it will show in the handwriting. But if the writer recognizes the situation, and is not bothered by it, or is not worried by what others think, it will not show. It is the mental attitude that shows, not the actual practice of homosexuality.

The handwriting of Oscar Wilde, who served time in prison for homosexual activity, shows no sign of any unusual sex interest. It is the fear or feeling of guilt that reveals itself in handwriting, not the homosexuality.

There are, for instance, thousands of men and women whose handwriting shows latent sexuality that is classified as “abnormal” who are lost, wandering through life. In such cases the handwriting will show the existence of homosexual desires, even though the writer does not recognize that he or she is one of a minority. On the other hand, you have as your first illustration in this chapter the handwriting of Oscar Wilde, who served time in a British prison for homosexual activities, and there is nothing in his handwriting to show any unusual sex interest. Oscar Wilde was a homosexual. It did not bother him. It was not a burden to him. He accepted the fact, and let it go at that.

So in Wilde’s case, the theory that homosexuality is evident in handwriting did not hold true. However, people still use handwriting to attempt to unravel the nature of homosexuals.

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As we pass through the Seven Gateways to Enchantment again and again and become a true Enchanted Self, we see that life is all about living and then telling and retelling the stories of our lives to get the most positive juice from our stories.

This often means taking pain and misfortune and turning it into meaning and even eventually a metamorphosis of pleasure. One example of designing a fulfilling life comes to mind. This is the story of a part of our French cousin’s life. A retired doctor living outside of Paris , Jean Manuel, has often told us the story of his years living hidden in a farmhouse in a French Province . When he was five, his parents were warned that they had to leave Paris . He vividly remembers how terribly upset his parents were. Somehow they found a farmer and his wife who agreed to take in as many of the family members as could get there. His family and some cousins lived several years on this farm.

Others chose not to leave Paris and were never heard of again.
Jean Manuel told us about how his family went back after the war to look for their missing relatives, only to find possessions and an uneaten birthday cake celebrating the nephew’s first birthday still on the table, at one of their cousin’s homes. The family, however, was gone forever. He remembers his parent’s despair, yet also how life resumed for all of them.

He also shared with us how his father was once picked up by the French Police and loaded onto a train. Fortunately the train was moving slowly enough that his father could jump and escape, living for a while in the woods until he could return to his little family.

One might at first wonder–how could a person come to terms with so much loss and seeing his family go through so much pain? I don’t know Jean Manuel terribly well but I have clearly seen a friendly, joyful person every time we’ve been together. I have a hunch of several ways he has processed this story of his life and the life of his family.

I believe that one of the major ways that he has processed his own life and turned it into a meaningful, joyful experience is by giving back. The farmer and his wife who took them in didn’t have any children of their own. Jean Manuel and everyone else that was hidden by them, never forgot them. They visited this couple every summer. To this very day, although the husband is gone, and the wife lives in a nursing home, Jean Manuel or his wife, or sometimes his daughter will take responsibility to visit and be with this woman. They never forgot and they’ve always been good to the people that were good to them.

Perhaps the other major way that I know that this man had made his life story into a meaningful life adventure is the way I feel when I am with him. He is a pleasant, reassuring person who makes me feel comfortable, safe, and as if there is a good time lurking around every corner. I think he is a lovely example of someone living an enchanted life… a life that has had to be reinterpreted, I’m sure, more than once… a life that is not a life of fame but of private meaning and consistency.

Exercise: Positive Personal Recognition

The following activity is great to help you better recognize how special you really are. Keep a piece of paper or a small notebook handy with which to make a self-pride list. For one week, write down at least one item a day that you have done well.

For example, on your list you might put, “I was polite and kind to several people in the check out line in the supermarket, even though I was very tired.” Or you might write, “I used my head, rather than my fists,” or “today I was able to really share with my son my concerns over his getting another traffic ticket, rather than showing intense anger.”

Or you might write something as simple as, “I took care of my body today. I ate reasonable foods and went for a 20 minute walk.”

At the end of the week, find a spare moment to read over your list a few times. After you have done that, give yourself a mental hug or visualize shaking hands with yourself or giving yourself a “high five” sign, or even placing a gold star on your forehead. This is a good way to begin giving yourself some recognition and possibly long overdue acknowledgment of all your many successes.

What you will realize as you keep your list is that you are certainly worth acknowledging in positive ways! You may also be surprised to see that you have done many acts of kindness, good deeds and often taken positive rather than negative action! Wow, you are AN ENCHANTED SELF!

Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein , originator of THE ENCHANTED SELF

We should strive to attain a desireless state. As long as we have desire, we lack. Lack and want are the same thing. Wanting traps us in a world of limitation. Wanting is the greatest enemy of joy.~Lester Levenson.

Desire is our enemy.

The more we try and satiate desires, the more we want of them.

There is no way to fulfill them all. And, in fact, it’s futile. We’re trying to be our own real selves through some secondary means.

Desire is either pushing something away from us, as in an aversion, or it is pulling something toward us, as in an attachment. We either desire something away from us or toward us.

Desire is an admission of lack.

It is saying that we want something. And because we want it, we don’t have it.

I’m not saying that we should do without anything. We need many things to live full lives, but there is a superior way to get them then through desiring them.

I’m saying that we should move beyond wanting something and instead experience having that thing.

We are souls, and as souls we have everything we need. All we have to do is think of it and it shows up in our experience.

This is commonly called the Law of Attraction.

However, what people understand as getting what they want is creating goals and then trying to pull it to them. Eventually, after picturing and repeating it, it does show up. However, it takes weeks, sometimes months, and by the time it shows up, they’re interested in something else anyway.

A better way is to be who and what you are.

Then, from the center of that power, you can draw what you want without desiring it.

Instead of desiring something, accept that you have it now. This acceptance, this “isness” of a thing will draw it into your experience faster than any other means.

Most schools of metaphysics and popular psychology create dozens of steps. This only weakens your magnetic power. They charge thousands of dollars for their complex processes. And it takes tremendous dedication and effort to learn.

Some people are so disempowered that they chase after gurus to help them fulfill their desires.

Just be who and what you are–a soul with a mind and body. Then think of what you want as if it is yours already.

Wanting and hankering after something, creating elaborate strategies, and involving yourself in endless struggles and sacrifice is not a way to get it.

Here is an example. I wanted to go to graduate school to study psychology. I did not have the money. What I did was imagine that I was already enrolled. I didn’t lust after it. I merely accepted “mentally” that I was attending school.

A chain of natural circumstances then unfolded where I was able to enroll and graduate from college with my master’s degree.

A consciousness of a thing in its “isness” is enough to draw it into your experience. Try it, you’ll like it.

People seek miracles to improve their lives. Yet they, themselves, in their divine origin, are the miracle.

Saleem Rana got his masters in psychotherapy. His articles on the internet have inspired over ten thousand people from around the world. Discover how to create a remarkable life

Copyright 2005 Saleem Rana. Please feel free to pass this
article on to your friends, or use it in your ezine or
newsletter. It’s a shareware article.

Inner peace is a gift from birth that we must all learn how to reach at some point in our lifetime. Throughout our lifetime, we climb over hills and mountains that touch the minds mechanisms, which sometimes hold us back from our inner peace.

Some of us find inner peace with religion, while others find inner peace by other means. People go through life wondering when their day of peace will arrive. The politicians talk of bringing peace to the world. Thus, society follows suit with the government wondering what day world peace will arrive, yet rarely do they see that we all have to find inner peace with in to work toward world peace.

Imagine what would happen if all of us in existence found our inner peace. Inner peace is a tranquility of the mind, or else quietness of the mind that makes us behave and present those behaviors to others in a peaceful light. Therefore, if we all have found our inner peace, the world would find world peace.

Agreements are what the politicians focus on to bring forth world peace. They search for solutions to resolve the many problems they have created for us all them self. Thus, the problems accumulated are never resolved, since greed, power, control, selfishness, and other nasty elements come from the sources searching for world peace.

Imagine now if the rulers of the world decided to search for world peace by sharing and giving, while putting forth the efforts to clean up the nasty elements that hold us back; imagine every one joining together in harmony to bring forth world peace.

It is not going to happen. Therefore, if you are searching for world peace to bring you inner peace you are wasting precious time. It will take a lot more than you to get these selfish people on the road to world peace; therefore focusing on you is the start of finding inner peace.

Are you sitting around worrying about what you neighbor, friends, family or mate is doing? Are you sitting around wondering what people are thinking about you? Maybe you are sitting around thinking about what you are going to do next week.

If you meet this idea, then you are wasting precious time. Neighbors, friends, family and mates are going to do what they want to do. There is nothing you can do about it, and when you sit around worrying about them, you are missing the train at the depot with the key to your inner peace. If you are sitting around wondering what people are thinking about you, then you are wasting time to reach your journey of inner peace. Again, people are going to think and act they way they want, thus what they think about you has nothing at all to do with you.

Oh, it does not make sense. Yes, it does if you think about it. You are who you are and unless you are doing something that makes someone talk about you then you have nothing to worry about. You cannot change other people. Rather you can only change you.

If you are sitting around wondering what you are going to do next week, you are wasting precious time. Next week is a week away, thus keeping in mind sufficient for today will help you take it one day at a time. You, I, or anyone else in the world cannot say that next week will even arrive. None of us knows the day or hour that the world will fall into the history of another grand story that was written in the bible. Likewise, none of us knows what will happen to us between now and next week, thus you are wasting precious time and will miss the train at the depot that has your inner peace.

Finding inner peace is learning how to control your mind, thoughts, emotions, conscious, subconscious, heart, feelings, et cetera. If you do not have control, you will not find your inner peace. Therefore, put on your suit of armor and start your journey to inner peace.

Suffering from sleepless nights, because you don

Life has a way of working itself out. In the process of living your life, things have a way of resolving themselves.

Another way of saying this is “ask and receive.”

Of course, to the logical, sequential-processing, fact-based mind, this makes no sense at all. It sounds like airy-fairy nonsense, mere wishful thinking.

How does it happen? Is it divine intervention, the presence of angels, or the subconscious mind suddenly paying attention?

I really don’t know. I can tell you the process and you can apply your favorite explanation.

Here are the five steps:

One, ask for a solution to a current problem.

Two, envision a happy outcome.

Three, trust that an answer will show up

Four, let it go.

Five, the answer will appear.

I’ll give you an example. I was wondering how anything could be understood because the nature of all things is infinitely complex. Was it ever possible to have a theory of everything?

That same day, in the evening, I stumbled upon how Albert Einstein had spent his life pursing the same question.

After his General and Special Theory, his dream was to find a theory of everything, a unified field theory. He believed in an elegant theory, where gravitation and electro-magnetism could be united.

Unfortunately, what rudely disrupted his plans was the eruption of Quantum Mechanics, where elegance was not the norm and subatomic elements could either be observed or measured, but not both.

Quantum Mechanics posited two more forces, the strong force and the weak force. The strong force is what holds an atomic nucleus together and a weak force is what is responsible for radioactive decay.

Well, now, not one, but two theories of everything coexisted. One for the world of the very large, planetary bodies. And one for the world of the very small, subatomic particles. Albert Einstein died a puzzled man. He could not figure out how to unite gravity, the force created on a planet because of a curvature in space-time as it traveled around its sun, with electro-magnetism, the forces of light, electricity, and magnetism, with the strong force, the “glue” that bound protons and neutrons together in a nucleus, and the weak force, the force that was responsible for radioactive decay.

How could a theory of everything work on the scale of the very large yet fail on the scale of the very small? How could the elegant laws that governed the planetary bodies and systems of the universe fail to have any application in the world of electrons spinning around a nucleus? (Initially, when scientists had perceived the atom as a “miniature” solar system, this problem was not observed; but after learning how to split atoms, this model was considered nonsensical, because only probability patterns of energy existed at the subatomic level.)

How could the theory of everything have two completely different theories? It would be like a one way street where the signs pointed in both directions or a traffic light which had all three colors on at the same time.

“God does not play dice,” he declared. But according to experiment after experiment in Quantum Mechanics, that is all that He did all day long.

Half a century after he died, however, along came String Theory, which posited that there was even something smaller than a quark and that it was a string, a vibrating string of energy that functioned in multiple dimensions to create the subatomic particles that could be observed. The entire universe, then, was an orchestra, a vibration at the level of the infinitesimally small, that played out different frequencies to create different constituents of things.

This debate, of course, is still continuing, with many physicists believing that since String Theory could never be experimentally verified (because the size of vibrating strings were infinitesimally small) that it was not valid, and more philosophy than science.

The point of this discussion, however, is that answers started showing up after I had asked the question..

I asked what I consider to be an impossible question. Can one understand everything? Is such a thing even possible? . Then to my surprise, through a series of coincidences, I found that not only was my question not original but that this entire phenomena of the universe could be broken down into a quest for a handful of unifying principles.

I actually developed the steps afterwards, through recapitulation of these events.

The only way to prove it, of course, is to try it. Then you will see the evidence for yourself. Follow the five steps. Something will happen. I found a whole stream of answers to my impossible question; imagine how much easier it would be to get the answer to a practical problem.

Saleem Rana would love to share his inspiring ideas His book Never Ever Give Up tells you how. It is offered at no cost as a way to help YOU succeed. The Empowered Soul